When Two Worlds Collide
by Luna's Butterfly
Summary: When Harry Potter's life is at risk, He and his friends are shipped off to Japan. There he will befriend a boy named Ritsuka, and together they will deal with perverted blondes. AU Rated M for Yaoi boy/boy LEMONS OOC/OCs HIGH CRACK WARNINGS
1. Prologue

**Xana: Hola everyone! This is XanaSentiya!**

**Muirgen: and this is Muirgen258!**

**Xana: Here with a joint (crack) fic. Loveless and Harry Potter crossover! *enter dramatic music***

**Muirgen: I will be writing the Harry Potter bits.**

**Xana: And I shall be writing the Loveless parts! Nyahahaha! *clears throats* now, all my readers know how much of a spazz I am, but to all you new readers, don't let my stupidity scare you away. This is actually a great fic (in my opinion). Muirgen and I worked very hard on this, and it would be very much appreciated if you gave it a chance. *giant grin***

**Muirgen: Yeah we worked hard on it while laughing our asses off.**

**Xana: Yeah! So, do know that this is a humor/crack fic, and there will be crack **_**pairings**_**, some that will make you laugh, and others that will make you go "Whaaaaaaa?"**

**Muirgen: Yeah, we don't know either. **

**Xana: Uh huh, so just BEWARE. Oh yes, this will be AU…**

**Muirgen: Or Alternate Universe for those who don't know.**

**Xana: Yep. Which means that Loveless world will still have their spell battles. Seimei, Nisei, Ritsu, and Nagisa are good guys. Kio, Yuiko, Osamu, Yayoi, and Hitomi are part of Septimal Moon, thus knowing and being part of spell battles.**

**Muirgen: And in the Harry Potter universe, books 6 and 7 never happened. There's no such thing as horcruxes. Sirius is still alive.**

**Xana: YEAH! BECAUSE SIRIUS IS KICK ASS AND DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE BY DRAPERY! Seriously, what the hell was that about?**

**Muirgen: Don't ask me. So, here are the pairings.**

**Main Pairings: SoubiRitsuka and DracoHarry**

**Side pairings: YoujiNatsuo, HermioneLuna, NevilleOsamu, RitsuNagisa, GinnyYuiko, KioYayoi.**

**Xana: And don't forget, our crack pairings!**

**Crack Pairings: SnapeSeimei, NiseiRon, DumbledoreHitomi**

**Muirgen: Oh god, I can just see those six now…**

**Xana: Anyways, please read and (hopefully) enjoy this fic. We don't have a beta (story of **_**my**_** life) so there probably will be mistakes. **

**Muirgen: And we do not own Loveless and Harry Potter. But we do, however, own our insanity.**

**Xana: and my spazz-tific personality! On with the cha…er…prologue…yeah.**

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><p>Prologue<p>

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and watched the group of people filing into his office. "Lemon drop?" he offered, holding out a candy dish as everyone sat down.

Ron grabbed one and put it in his mouth before muttering a thanks.

"No thank you, Headmaster." replied Luna, staring at Fawkes. "They attract wrackspurts you know."

Ron looked suspiciously at the candy dish, but decided he would take the risk.

"I'm sure you're all wondering why you're here," began Dumbledore serenely. "Voldemort is gaining power in the ministry, and is targeting a specific group. Namely the people in this room. Right now it is imperative that we keep Harry safe. He will need his friends to help protect him, and to support him. With Severus having been discovered as a spy, and young Mr. Malfoy refusing the dark mark, their lives are also in danger. Those of you whose families are not in the order, have been taken to various safe houses." He gestured to Harry, Hermione, and Luna as he said this.

"We will all be traveling to Japan, I have a friend there who has arranged a safe haven for us. We will be unable to use magic, as that will enable Voldemort to track us. Our flight leaves tomorrow at 9 am and will land at 3 pm local time. I will therefore cast the charm that allows us to learn Japanese on you all now."

Harry stared at the Headmaster in shock, as he began casting the spells on everyone. How could he want him to just run and hide? He almost asked Dumbledore this, but thought better of it. Dumbledore wouldn't be suggesting this unless he had a _very_ good reason.

Hermione was concerned for her friends and even more concerned for her parents. She desperately hoped they would be alright. She was however grateful that they were now on friendly terms with Draco. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to be stuck in a foreign country with Harry and Draco at each others throats. Hermione then started compiling a list in her head of the books in the library that might have information about Japan.

Ron wondered what the food would be like, Draco was stuck on the 'not being able to use magic thing', and Ginny and Luna were just happy that they were being included, and not pushed aside just because they were a year younger. Neville was worried but also happy that he was included.

After Hermione interrogated Dumbledore over where in Japan they would be staying (Yokohama), what their new school's name was (Septimal Moon), how were they going to keep up with their magical studies (they would be doing the theory in special classes at night), and a million other things they were dismissed.

They spent the rest of the day packing, followed by a fitful nights sleep. They all convened for an early breakfast before heading out. They would be taking the thestral drawn carriages to Hogsmeade where they would be met by a bus, that would take them to the airport.

Draco was dubious about flying without a broom, and not entirely sure if these muggle contraptions were safe. Ginny was excited and knew her father would be so jealous of her and Ron getting to fly in an airplane. Though he would never admit it Ron's thoughts were similar to Draco's. Neville also had similar thoughts to Draco but he was willing to admit it. Luna was hoping to see the mating dance of the blibbering humdinger. Which had never been witnessed before because of the great heights it took place in.

Hermione had gone on many plane trips with her parents so she wasn't fazed, she was however eager to learn more about the Japanese culture. Harry couldn't decide if he was more excited or anxious. Dumbledore just hoped this was the right thing to do. Snape didn't so much care about the airplane, as he did being trapped in the present company for who knows how long.

As Hermione was the only one who had ever been in an airport before, she took charge at the ticket counter, and explained the security procedures. As the plane took off, Harry had his face pressed flat against the widow, utterly fascinated at the sight of the ground falling away beneath them.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as Dumbledore announced that they were almost to their new school. It had been an exhausting twelve hour flight from London, and then they had been driving for 3 hours. Harry heard Hermione tiredly trying once again to explain to the purebloods exactly how an airplane worked. Luna then turned to Harry telling him about how disappointed she was that there weren't any blibbering humdingers. And do you think it's the wrong time of year for their mating dance? Twenty minutes later Luna and Harry were snapped out of their conversation as they pulled up in front of a large imposing building.

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><p>"And exactly what do you mean by 'we'll be having new guests?'" Seimei drawled, leaning back against the frame of the open door, arms folded across his chest.<p>

"Yeah, who are they anyways?" Natsuo chirped, trapped in Youji's embrace.

"A friend of Hitomi-Sensei's is bringing a few students and another teacher to…learn more about our culture." Minami Ritsu replied, leaning back in his seat, cigarette balanced carefully between his lips.

Nisei gave a soft snort, rolling his eyes. "And I'm guessing you called all of us in here because they're dorming with us, right?"

"Quick as always, Akame." Nagisa smirked, standing beside Ritsu. "We thought you all would…get along."

"Hopefully…" Ritsu added, blowing out a puff of smoke.

Aoyagi Ritsuka slowly furrowed his eyebrows, not too pleased at the thought of new roommates. He already had enough dealing with Youji and Natsuo's midnight 'playtime' and Yayoi's bad taste in music. He could already imagine what these mysterious transfer students would bring.

"I don't want a new roommate." Kio huffed, lower lip jutting out. "They could be creeps!"

Everyone turned to look at Soubi as he gave a low chuckle. "Who in the world could be creepier than Seimei and _Nisei_?"

"**HEY**!" Nisei exclaimed, balling his hands into fists. "That wasn't very nice of you to say!"

"He actually has a valid point." Seimei mused, rubbing his chin in thought.

"_AHEM_. Back to our previous discussion. You will be responsible for your new roommates and in charge of seeing them settled in." Nagisa cut in, hands placed on her slim hips.

"Oh yes, one more thing. It is crucial that they do not know about our spell battles, or that _most_ of the students here have ears and tails." Ritsu warned, staring straight at Natsuo.

"So, exactly what do you want them to do with their ears and tails? Go and lose them in a janitor's closet a long with the rest of the school?" Kio questioned, looking slightly baffled. Soubi and Seimei snickered at this.

"**NO**, you will simply wave them off as fashion accessories." Nagisa answered, snatching up a book from Ritsu's desk and using it to whack Kio in the head.

Ritsu let out a tired sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Japan is known for our…unique fashion sense. Playing off your ears and tails as accessories is the easiest way."

"So, basically we're stuck with a group of transfer students from…?" Ritsuka asked, slapping Natsuo's hand away from his cheek as the red head continuously poked him in the face.

"Scotland, United Kingdom." Ritsu offered, putting out his cigarette before standing.

"Oh my Sunshine and Daisies! So they're already used to drinking tea! Whooo!" Natsuo cried happily, bouncing out of his boyfriend's arms and skipping around. "Now we don't have to explain it to them! Yatta!"

Youji sighed, reaching out to grab his hyper active lover. "Natsuo, I think everybody gets the concept of tea."

Natsuo huffed, turning to look at Youji. "Well, _duh_, Youji. The world isn't retarded, you know."

Ritsu glanced out his window in time to see a van pull up in front of their school. A tall, old man with a long white beard and matching hair stepped out first, wearing long orange robes with yellow smiley faces.

He slowly raised an elegant eyebrow at the man's choice in clothing, immediately assuming that they were, in fact, their expected guests. He watched as another man with midnight black hair and long, flowing black robes stepped out, a displeased frown starting to form on his face as he looked at the building before him.

The young principal raised his other eyebrow in amusement as a blonde haired boy and red headed boy both stumbled out simultaneously before glaring at each other and exchanging silent, heated words.

The dark haired man, whom he assumed was one of the professors, reached over and smacked the two teens in the back of the head, ending their argument. Ritsu couldn't help the soft chuckle that escaped his lips as he watched the scene before him.

Turning back to the group in his office, he blinked as he watched Kio and Nisei currently locked in a glaring match, frowns pulling at their lips.

"How dare you even _suggest_ that I throw away my lollipop collection! It's a work of art! And it took me years and _money_ to get as far as I have with it!" Kio huffed, getting 'all up in Nisei's face'.

"You moron! That stupid cavity collection you have is taking up too much space on the shelves! We could use that space for more important things!" Nisei snarled back, hands balled into fists at his sides.

Ritsu frowned. Could his students _ever_ get along for _at least _five minutes? Apparently, that was too much to ask. Sighing, Ritsu closed his eyes in annoyance and held up his hands, interrupting the two. "Sorry to interrupt your lovers quarrel, but our guests have arrived."

Ten pairs of eyes turned to look at him, a mixture of emotions flashing through their eyes, all wondering just what this will bring in the near future.

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><p><strong>Xana: Holy butterflies! There you go! Prologue, baby.<strong>

**Muirgen: No more caffeine for you.**

**Xana: You are no fun! Anyways, we hope you liked it! If not, let us know what you didn't like, or if you did like it, tell us what you enjoyed! If you have any suggestions, let us know. In a review! (obviously)**

**Muirgen: Criticism is welcome, as well as any ideas you may have. **

**Xana: Yep, we can take anything! Good or bad! **

**Muirgen: So, please read and review. **

**Xana: And we are outties! Till next time!**

**~* Xana and Muirgen *~**


	2. Chapter 1

**Xana: Hey everyone! We're back with chapter 1!**

**Muirgen: *throws confetti***

**Xana: *is smacked with fist full of confetti* OW!**

**Muirgen: HA!**

**Xana: you are so mean…So, big thanks to everyone who is supporting this fic! It means a lot! And special thanks to yuranda, CrapXhead, WizardsGirl, In The Mix, and xXxOtAkU-444xXx for reviewing.**

**Muirgen: And to everyone who favorited/alerted us and the fic.**

**Xana: Yep! Fair warning to the readers, Dumbledore is feeling very…"special"…in this chapter. Now! We don't have a beta, so there will probably be mistakes. Now, Disclaimer please!**

**Muirgen: Xana and I do NOT own Loveless or Harry Potter. We do, however, own our insanity and plot bunnies. Lots and lots of plot bunnies…**

**Xana: Yay plot bunnies! Oh…*cough* ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

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><p>They had just finished unloading their luggage off of the bus, when a tall man with mid length, pale blue hair approached.<p>

"Good evening, I am Minami Ritsu, principal of Septimal Moon. You must be Dumbledore-San." He bowed, hair curtaining his face as he did so.

Dumbledore curtsied before replying, causing Hermione to face palm.

"Good evening, my boy! Could I tempt you with a lemon drop? They're my favorite mug . . . Um . . . MUSICAL candies."

Ritsu slowly straightened, confusion evident on his face. Musical…candies? "Ah…no thank you, Dumbledore-San."

He glanced over at the raven haired man next to Dumbledore before letting his green eyes roam over the faces of the teens behind the two men. "Please, follow me to my office so we may settle you in."

"Lead the way, my dear boy!" Dumbledore said, beaming at Ritsu.

The pale haired man could only blink slowly as he stared at the older man. "Yes…right this way."

Turning on his heel, the young principal lead the group of foreigners inside the school. Students hanging around in the halls turned to stare at the strangers as they whispered amongst themselves.

The young witches and wizards couldn't help but notice most of the students were wearing cat ears and tails. This gave great confusion. What were they wearing fake cat ears for? Was it some kid of fashion trend in Japan?

Dumbledore excitedly greeted each one, giving a big smile and an enthusiastic wave. "Hello! How are you today, young man? Hi! Good evening!"

"Professor, perhaps you should…tone it down…a bit." Hermione suggested hopefully.

"Nonsense, Miss Granger. I'm just being friendly." said the headmaster happily, giving a few more waves.

Ritsu stopped outside his office, hand gripping the doorknob calmly as he turned to the group. "I have a group of students that I think you will all get a long with well, so it may be a little crowded."

"Oh, joy." Snape commented sarcastically, causing green eyes to snap towards him.

"I believe we haven't been introduced." Ritsu drawled, eyeing the dark haired man. "I know Dumbledore-San since he is a friend of Hitomi-Sensei's. But I haven't heard about you."

"_Professor_ Severus Snape, po…_chemistry_…teacher."

Ritsu stared silently at the man, catching his quick correction. What in the world was po chemistry? Shaking his head slightly, the younger of the three adults turned back towards the door and entered the room.

Loud chatter immediately stopped as nine pairs of eyes turned to stare. Ritsu gave everyone a warning glare before making his way towards his desk. The students of Hogwarts noticed, again, some of the students present wearing cat ears and tails.

"Please come in, Dumbledore-San." Ritsu said, taking his seat behind his desk.

Nagisa stood silently at Ritsu's side, watching the group of strangers file into the room quietly, her eye's widening in silent horror at the horrendous fashion victim in front of the group.

'_Orange? With _yellow_ smilies?' _she silently screamed, hands itching to grab the man's clothes and burn them. Ritsu, sensing her distress, gently patted her arm, as if trying to calm her.

Harry and his friends found empty seats and made themselves comfortable, while Snape stood by the door, arms crossed and glaring.

Natsuo, who had lost interest in the new students five seconds after they entered, glanced over at the headmaster before doing a double take. Eyes widening and mouth hanging open, the energetic red head jumped to his feet and pointed straight at the tall, elder man.

"MAGICAL RAINBOW ELF!" he screamed loudly, causing half the room to jump. Dumbledore turned to look at him and grinned happily.

"Thank you, young man!"

Youji sighed and pulled Natsuo back onto his lap. "Natsuo, don't be rude!" he hissed, causing the green eyed teen to pout.

"Well _he_ liked it." He mumbled, folding his arms over his chest in a childish way.

"And why exactly are we in this room?" Snape demanded.

"Because we are the ones that will be settling you in…_Sensei_." Seimei sneered, gaining the professor's attention.

"It's not _Sensei_. It's _Professor_." growled Snape, glaring at the younger male.

Nisei gave a quiet chuckle beside Seimei, hoping for a fight. He nudged the elder Aoyagi and whispered something quietly in the raven's ear, hopefully trying to 'egging him on'.

"Now, now. We all need to learn to play nicely. As Aoyagi-kun said, these are the students I have chosen to help you all settle in. They will be your new roommates, tour guides, and hopefully your fri-" Ritsu was cut off as the door slammed open, nearly whacking a startled Snape in the process.

Snape reached for his wand to hex whoever had done such a thing, before remembering that it was in a secret compartment in his suitcase. He settled for giving his patented Death Glare to the newcomer.

"Sorry I'm late, Ritsu-Sensei! Yuiko-San and Hitomi-Sensei couldn't find their bo-Ehhh?" Osamu stopped, eyes landing on the glaring professor as she closed the door behind her.

Neville's eyes widened as he looked at the dark haired girl. He had never seen a girl so beautiful in his life.

Blinking in confusion, she turned her gaze to the full room, half of them her friends, the other half complete strangers. "Ah…did I interrupt something, Sensei?"

Shaking his head, Ritsu lit a cigarette, causing Harry and his friends to gape in shock. "Nonsense, Kimizuka-san. You are just in time. Please take a seat and…oh, yes?" Ritsu asked, seeing one of the new students with her hand in the air.

"Sir, do you realize the health effects of smoking? Not only to yourself, but to those who have to be in your presence? It would be wise to quit as quickly as you can." Hermione lectured, causing the Japanese students to stare.

"She actually talked back to Ritsu…about his _smoking_!" Kio whispered to Soubi in bafflement, causing Nisei to snicker in agreement.

Ritsu, having been a little surprised, blinked before glancing at his cigarette, then turning to look at the blue haired woman beside him.

"Nagisa…do you think you can hide my pack from now on?"

"Uh…sure." Nagisa answered, hesitantly taking the pack from him.

Just as she slipped the carton into her pocket, the door once again slammed open, nearly hitting Snape…again.

"1,000 points from-! Oh, never mind." he grumbled, edging away from the door towards Dumbledore, who was looking a little _too_ happy. Which made him wonder if he was safer by the door after all.

Natsuo guffawed, doubling over as he nudged Ritsuka. "Points! He said points!" Ritsuka scowled at him and edged to the end of his seat as Natsuo pointed at Snape.

"Points! What the hell is this? Pokemon?" He continued to laugh as Youji pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Pokemon has Health Points, Natsuo."

"Same thing!"

"Ah! Lovely to see you, my dear!" Albus suddenly cried happily, arms spread as he glided towards the door, set on embracing Hitomi.

Yuiko's eyes widened as she slowly backed away from her Sensei, scared of the tall, orange man.

Soubi's icy blue eyes zoomed in on his earless Sensei's head, eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Hitomi-Sensei, where are your ea-" he was interrupted as a small hand slapped over his mouth.

"Shut _up_, Soubi." Ritsuka hissed lowly, before turning to see his shy teacher practically _mauled_ by the tall 'Rainbow Elf'.

The young witches and wizards exchanged startled glances at their headmaster's behavior towards the young Japanese woman. Ritsu cleared his throat, feeling that they were getting a little too sidetracked.

"If you'll give me your attention, I would like to explain the rules of the school and who you will be dorming with." the green eyed principal explained, lacing his fingers together before resting his chin on them.

"Now, before I give our transfer students their assigned dorms, I should inform you, Kaidou-san, that I moved you into a new room since you and Akame-san cannot seem to get along for two seconds at a time. And I would hate for you two to engage in another spell b…spat."

Ron perked up at the word "spell" , whipping out his wand. "OH! You mean like this-Ack!" Snape smacked him in the back of his head, causing Nisei to laugh hysterically along with Natsuo.

"Why do you have a _stick_?" Natsuo questioned, laughing himself to tears.

"It…uh…makes me happy?" Ron said, trying to imitate Dumbledore, but instead he looked constipated. Dumbledore looked at the red headed wizard with concern.

"Are you feeling alright, Mr. Weasely?" he asked, still holding Hitomi in a death grip.

"Never been…better?" He forced a smile, looking rather creepy.

"Back to our previous discussion," Ritsu interrupted, getting rather frustrated. "Our first dorm assignment will be with Malfoy Draco-"

"Excuse me, _Sir_, it is _Draco_ Malfoy. Not _Malfoy_ Draco, you stupid muggle."

The witches and wizards gaped in horror while the Japanese cat people cocked their heads in confusion.

'_What is a muggle?' _they simultaneously thought.

"Mr. Malfoy!" reprimanded Snape.

"But he got my name wrong!" whined Draco.

"Actually, _Malfoy_, it is customary in Japan to refer to a person with their surname first and their given name second." Hermione corrected the arrogant blonde.

Draco scowled, arms crossed over his chest. "Well, _excuse_ me."

"Back to our _previous _discussion." Ritsu interjected, patience long gone. "Draco-san will dorm with Agatsuma Soubi, Aoyagi Seimei, and Akame Nisei. You three, please stand so that he may know who you are."

Soubi silently stood along with Seimei, while Nisei hopped to his feet.

"Hey kid, you better not be annoying like Kio, or else I'll stick his lollipop collection where the sun don't shine, got it?" Nisei chirped happily, an eerie smile spreading across his face.

Draco shuddered before slowly turning to Dumbledore. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" he asked weakly.

"It's a perfectly good idea, my boy!" he beamed, eyes twinkling.

"Now, Potter-san will be dormed with Aoyagi Ritsuka, Shioiri Yayoi, and Sagan Youji and Natsuo. You four, please stand."

As Ritsuka and Yayoi stood from their seats, Natsuo leaped from his spot on Youji's lap and ran towards the brunette wizard, successfully glomping him. "We are going to become such great friends!" he gushed.

Harry looked at the red head, who had his arms around him, in mild alarm and said, "Er…I'm sure we will."

Having developed a sixth sense when coming to death glares from dealing with Snape, Harry looked up to see a teal haired teen glaring a promised death at him.

"Natsuo, don't just_ hug _him. You don't even know him." Youji growled, reaching out for overly happy red head.

"_Back_ to our _previous_ discussion," Ritsu ground out, looking rather pissed. "Weasely-san and Longbottom-san-"

"Bahaha! Longbottom!" Kio cackled, nudging Soubi in the rib. "Long. Bottom! Get it? Get it?"

"Kio, shut the hell up." Soubi sighed, shoving the blonde's elbow away from him.

Ritsu glared at his laughing student, before continuing. "Sadly you'll be dorming with the laughing fool next to you."

"Heeeeey!" Kio whined.

"Shut up Kio! It's not nice to make fun of someone's name! Especially if you don't know that person." Osamu scolded, shaking her finger at the bespectacled blonde.

"Mind your own business, Osamu." Kio said, waving her off.

"Why don't you come over here and make me." the dark haired teen growled out.

"_Back _to our _previous discussion_," Ritsu snapped, trying to take his cigarettes away from Nagisa. "Granger-san, Lovegood-san, and Weasely-san will be dorming with Hawatari-san and Kimizuka-san."

At this, Yuiko happily skipped over to the three witches and immediately hugged Ginny. "I hope we become great friends, Weasely-Chan! We can have lunch together! And sit next to each other in class too!"

Ginny blushed as she gently patted the pink haired girl's back. "I would like that very much."

Osamu glanced over at the three foreign girls before sighing. "It won't be so bad to show you around. I guess…"

"Do you know if there are any wrackspurts in the dorm?" Luna asked curiously, causing Osamu to cock her head in confusion.

"A what?"

"_Back to our previous discussion_…" Ritsu snarled, seething in frustration at being interrupted so many times in less than ten minutes. "Dumbledore-san. You and Snape-san will be staying in my private apartment-"

"Splendid idea, dear boy! We'll have so much fun! We can have slumber parties!" Dumbledore said enthusiastically.

Snape turned to Harry and sighed. "Please kill me now."

Nagisa turned towards the ancient looking man, giving him a 'what the fuck' look before jumping as Ritsu slammed his fist onto his desk.

"If any of you so much as breathe while I finish giving out instructions, so help me I will make you clean every single inch of this school with your tongues! Toilets included!"

Nagisa immediately shoved a cigarette into the pal haired man's mouth, quickly lighting the end. "Just inhale, Ritsu. Inhale!"

Ron hesitantly raised his hand. "What if we didn't say anything?"

Ritsu just glared as he puffed his cigarette.

Sighing, Nagisa flipped a blue pigtail over her shoulder. "Now, because Hitomi-Sensei offered her room for the girls to dorm in, she'll be staying with me in my private apartment."

Calming down, Ritsu leaned back in his seat, blowing out a puff of smoke. "One of our main rules here at Septimal Moon is that students are forbidden to wander around at night. Each dorm has a connecting bathroom, so do not try to use that as an excuse."

As Ritsu continued to explain the rules, Harry wondered how easy it would be to sneak out with his invisibility cloak.

* * *

><p>Draco stood stiffly at the door of the room, watching as the older males moved around the dorm, as if there wasn't a strange teenager amongst them.<p>

"So, I saw that little _moment_ between you and that Snape guy." Nisei leered, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at Seimei, who simply rolled his eyes.

"Oi! Don't you dare talk about my godfather that way, you perverted muggle!" Draco demanded. Three pairs of eyes turned to look at him.

"Just ignore him. That's just how he normally is." Seimei said, brushing past Nisei on his way to the bathroom.

"Yeah. A complete freak." Soubi added, laying back on his bed, hands folded behind his head. "Oh, by the way, that bed over there is yours. You might want to get clean sheets though. It used to be Kio's bed."

Nisei giggled, which creeped out Draco. "Why would I need clean sheets?"

"You don't want to know." came the muffled reply from the direction of the bathroom.

"Oh god, I wish I had a house elf." Draco said miserably.

"A house wha?" Nisei asked.

"Servant!" he shouted. "I meant servant!"

* * *

><p>Natsuo happily dragged Harry into their shared room, a pissed of Youji closely behind them, followed by a bemused Yayoi and an annoyed Ritsuka.<p>

"See that bed? That's yours, Harry!" Natsuo chirped, flailing his arm excitedly at the empty bed.

Looking around, Harry noticed that there was only three other beds and four other occupants. "Shouldn't there be another bed?"

The four Japanese students gave him a blank stare. "Why?"

"There are more people than there are beds?"

Ritsuka placed his hand on his hip. "Youji and Natsuo share a bed. Why, you got a problem with that?"

Harry shrugged. "No, but McGonagall would _kill_ us if we ever tried to share beds. Dean and Seamus tried it once. You don't want to know what happened."

The four simply stared at him in silence before Natsuo grinned widely. "What's a McGonagall? And who are Dean and Seamus?" he asked.

"Er, McGonagall is Deputy Headmistress and Head of House at Hogwarts."

"Hogawha now?"

"Oh, it's the name of our school. And Dean and Seamus were Ron, Neville, and mine old dorm mates.

"Ohh, I see! So Harry, do you guys have TEA TIME?"

"Seriously Natsuo, what is it with you and tea time? You don't even drink it!" Yayoi exclaimed, moving towards his bed.

"I just want to know if they have tea and crumpets with the Queen!"

Ritsuka scoffed, rolling his eyes as he grabbed a magazine from his computer desk. "Well Natsuo, that depends. Do you have soba and sake with the Emperor?"

"Eh…no..."

"Alright then."

* * *

><p>"Alright, kids. Stick with me and you'll have the greatest of times in this school." Kio boasted, thumb pointed towards his chest as he lead the two teens to their new room.<p>

Neville glanced around the crowded halls nervously as students stared while Ron wondered where the hell the Great Hall was. Seriously, he was hungry after such a long day with Snape glaring at him every time he tried to eat his snacks.

The red headed wizard perked up when he heard the word 'Lollipop'.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I asked you if you wanted to see my lollipop collection." Kio repeated, pushing open the door to their room.

"That's the best thing I've heard all day!" he said excitedly, pushing past the grinning blonde to get inside.

Neville hung his head, wondering what he did to be cursed with such crazy roommates. Sulking past Kio, he looked into the room and watched Ron happily examine the walls covered in shelves full of lollipops of every flavor imaginable.

"I see you like what you see." Kio grinned cockily, watching the excited wizard.

"I'll have to tell Harry I have a new best friend."

Kio just laughed.

* * *

><p>"-And we have this giant greenhouse full of all kinds of fruits and vegetables!" Yuiko exclaimed excitedly, holding Ginny's hand as she lead the group of girls down the hall.<p>

"My favorite part of the greenhouse is the strawberries! Yuiko loves strawberries!" she gushed, failing to notice Ginny's blush.

"I wish we had something like that at our old school. We have greenhouses, but the plants are…dangerous."

Osamu sniffed. "What, do you have poison ivy or something?"

"Not in our greenhouses." Hermione replied.

"Then what? Abrus Precatorius? Actaea Pachypoda?" Osamu questioned, staring straight at Hermione.

"Among others such as Aconite, Atropa belladonna, and Conium maculatum just to name a few."

"Really? Well, I certainly wouldn't want to go to _your _school. Honestly, what kind of school grows plants that are hazardous to their students health? A jacked up one, if you ask me." Osamu replied.

Hermione chuckled. "Poisonous plants are the least of the hazards at Hogwarts."

"I bet they are nothing compared to Septimal Moon's." Osamu challenged, eyes narrowed slightly.

"Osamu-chan. You should be more nice to our guests." Yuiko interjected, opening the door to their dorm.

"Why should I? I didn't ask them to come here, and I certainly did _not_ ask to dorm with them. To me, they're intruders. Pests." she sneered, walking into the room before anyone else could.

Hermione scowled at the brunette, wishing she could show her the _real _hazards of Hogwarts.

* * *

><p>"Please watch your step as you come in." Ritsu said, opening the door to his luxurious private apartment just above the school halls.<p>

"I must say, this is very exciting! We should coordinate pajamas!" Dumbledore enthused, disturbing Snape with his talk.

Ritsu internally wondered just what he had gotten himself into when he agreed to help Hitomi and her friends. He also wondered…just where the hell did Hitomi _meet _this guy?

Glancing towards his guests, he watched in horror as Dumbledore whipped out a bag from thin air and started to rifle through it. His horror grew as he watched bright, pink, duck covered pajamas emerge from the bag.

"What do you think? Do these go with your pajamas?" Albus asked, looking over at him innocently excited.

"Ah…no."

"How about these?" Ritsu felt his horror intensify even more as he was met with neon green footed pajamas covered in bunnies, kittens, and hedgehogs in different colors. Including pink, purple, orange, yellow, and blue.

The young principal had to close his eyes as the offending article of the clothing began to form a migraine in the poor man's head. Glancing over at his other guest, he saw Snape sitting on the sofa, head buried in his hands, muttering something that sounded like "Abrada Kadabra me now."

His head snapped back towards the (insane) elderly man as he poked him with a brush. Ritsu gave him a _very_ insulted look. "Yes?"

"When are we going to do each others hair? You can braid my beard if you want! It will make me look like one of those pirate fellows, and have the lovely Miss Hitomi swoon!"

Ritsu could only gape in revulsion. Pirates? Hitomi swooning? Braid his beard? What the hell was going on through this man's head? He couldn't stop the next sentence from leaving his mouth.

"Did you get thrown into a wall when you were an infant?" He demanded.

"No, but I did blow the house up when I was about three. Why do you ask?"

The young Minami could only sigh in self pity as he moved down the hall towards the guest room. "Let me show you where you will be staying tonight."

* * *

><p>"So, Hitomi. Where are your ears? When did you lose them? Who with? Oh! Is he hot?" Nagisa interrogated, snickering at her last question as she brushed her long, blue hair.<p>

Shinonome Hitomi could only blush furiously as she braided her hair, preparing for a long night's rest. "Ahhh, don't you think that is a little personal?"

"What? We're close friends! It's something we're suppose to share."

Hitomi glanced at her from the corner of her eye. "You didn't share your relationship with Ritsu."

Nagisa's hand froze mid stroke before she whipped around in her seat. "How did you know about that!"

Hitomi sighed, averting her gaze. "It's kind of obvious…"

"How is it obvious!" Nagisa demanded. The light haired teacher blushed.

"I…uhm…heard you two…"

"You WHAT?" Nagisa screeched, standing up. "You heard us? Heard us what?"

"Kyaaaah! Don't make me say it!"

"Say it, damn it!"

"Close! You two got very close!"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"WAAAAAAAHHH!"

* * *

><p><strong>Xana: Awww, they're already settling in and making friends! (Sort of)<strong>

**Muirgen: Let's just hope that they don't try to kill each other. We hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**Xana: Yeah! So give us some love and alert/favorite the story! And, you know, throw in a review! Reviews help motivate us and encourage us to update more! This is Xana and Muirgen, and we are OUT!**

**~* Xana and Muirgen *~**


	3. Chapter 2

**Xana: Hi everyone! We're back with an…ahem…shorter chapter. **

**Muirgen: We meant to have it longer, but we were short on time, and we have to write it in the same room because we can't write it in our separate houses.**

**Xana: Yeah, it really sucks. But thank god Muirgen lives so close to me! *glomps Muirgen***

**Muirgen: Ermph! Warn a girl before you do that!**

**Xana: Tch, it's called the element of surprise. MUAHAHAHA.**

**Murigen: Thank you to yuranda, CrapXhead, WizardsGirl, FunkyFoxxxy-chan, CoffeeADDictedKitty, theOneWhoCounts, Keira-sama, ButterflyMarquiS, Honey Leo, HuntedWoodsCircus, The Colourful Syndrome, FanaticPhobia-chan, 0Muic0O0Life0, and ParanoiaMakesMeSMILE for reviewing.**

**Xana: And to everyone who favorite/alerted! You guys rock! Also, we have more Harry just like WizardsGirl demanded! Okay, disclaimer time!**

**Murigen: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**Xana: And I don't own Loveless! But we own plot bunnies! **

**Muirgen: And they keep breeding! It's very annoying.**

**Xana: *is drowning in a giant pile of plot bunnies* Help Meeeeeee!**

**Muirgen: Er…let's just get on with the chapter.**

* * *

><p>"I can't believe the Weasel <em>dumped <em>you for a lollipop collection!" Draco taunted with a smirk, as they walked down the halls after their last class. They had been in Japan for a week, and Ron waxed poetic over Kio's collection every chance he got.

"Shut up, ferret! At least _my_ friends have two brain cells to rub together." Harry sneered.

Before Draco could respond, Harry suddenly grabbed his arm, starring wide eyed ahead of them. "Ugh. Unhand me, Potter."

Draco followed the direction of the brunette's gaze, and he felt his jaw drop. Up ahead of them was their two roommates, Soubi and Ritsuka, locked in a fierce tongue battle. The tall blonde had the smaller raven pinned harshly against the wall, wrists trapped above their heads.

"Are they…?" Harry trailed off, still clutching Draco.

Draco could only give an inarticulate "Uh huh…"

The two stood transfixed as they saw Soubi's tongue slide from Ritsuka's mouth, pearly white teeth nibbling on a soft, plump lip. They could hear the small moan of pleasure leave the small teen's lips, eyes closed in bliss. The young Malfoy watched in fascination as Soubi's large hand snuck under Ritsuka's shirt. Draco's heart suddenly sped up as he saw himself in Soubi's place and Harry in Ritsuka's.

Grey eyes widened as he watched his "twin's" lips latch onto Harry's neck, Harry's hands reaching up to fist his silvery blonde locks, as Draco maneuvered Harry's legs around his waist, the green eyed brunette whimpering in satisfaction as Draco ground his pelvis into Harry's.

"What are you two doing?"

Draco and Harry snapped out of their trance and turned to see Neville standing in front of them with a stack of books in his hands. The blonde wizard turned back to see Ritsuka and Soubi gone.

"Harry, why are you grabbing onto Malfoy?"

Draco's head snapped back to look at Harry before glancing down to see Harry's hand gripping his bicep. The sinful images flashed through his head, causing him to rip his arm away.

Glaring at the two brunette wizards, Malfoy turned and stormed down the hall, shoving "muggles" out of his way. Harry watched in confusion and anger as students yelled out profanities at the rude wizard.

* * *

><p>Harry headed back towards his dorm, muttering about "psycho blondes" and their bipolar attitudes. Pushing open the door, he sighed in relief as he was met with an empty room.<p>

Collapsing onto his bed, he let out a huff and glared at the ceiling, mind racing over thoughts of Draco's earlier behavior, and how it had hurt to watch him pull away and storm off.

He turned his head in time to see Ritsuka saunter into the room, towel wrapped securely around his waist and hair dripping wet. Harry's eyes immediately zoned in on wet cat ears.

"Hey, Ritsuka?" Harry asked.

"Hmmm?"

"Do you wear those cat ear things in the shower? I mean, wouldn't they get ruined?"

The Japanese teen stiffened, before glancing over his shoulder. "They're water proof." he replied coldly, opening a drawer for fresh clothes.

Harry eyed the half naked teen before noticing a large, dark bruise on the raven's neck.

_'What the-'_

He suddenly blushed as he remembered the little "scene" in the hallway. He blushed even more as he imagined Draco pinning _him_ to the wall, lips attacking his neck, forcing his legs around the pure blood's waist.

Harry let out a startled cry and fell off the edge of the bed, making a loud thump. Ritsuka turned to stare at him before scoffing and rolling his eyes.

Turning back to his dresser, Ritsuka decided it was best to ignore his crazy new roommate.

* * *

><p>Harry sighed as he slouched over the classroom table as his eyes drooped sleepily.<p>

"Potter!" Snape yelled, startling the sleepy brunette.

Twenty pairs of eyes turned to stare as Yayoi nudged Harry, hissing at him to sit up.

"Were you up all night signing autographs, Potter?" Snape sneered. The non-British students looked at each other in confusion. Why would this kid be signing autographs?

Ritsuka glanced towards Harry from the corner of his eye before shaking his head. Harry had been up all night cursing that Draco guy, and it had kept him up as well. He would have to remember to borrow ear plugs from Yayoi, in case he decided to curse another student tonight.

Before Harry could answer Snape, the door burst open as Seimei and Nisei scurried into the room, both panting lightly.

"Ah! We made it!" Nisei exclaimed happily, smacking Seimei on the back.

The elder Aoyagi glared at his friend before brushing his hand away. "We're late because of you."

"Mr. Aoyagi and Mr. Akame, how nice of you to grace us with your presence." Snape drawled, swooshing his cloak behind him. "Perhaps you feel you already know everything there is to know about this subject?"

Seimei cocked his head to the side curiously. "What class is this, anyways?"

"Chemistry." Snape snarled, heated glare directed at the two students.

Nisei immediately perked up. "I know all there is to know since I'm your aid, Snape-Sensei!"

"Well then, as my aid you should know that tardiness is punishable by detention, Mr. Akame."

Nisei gave a disturbing chuckle, leaning his elbow on Seimei's shoulder. "Maybe you should give Seimei here the _detention_, Snape-Sensei." he leered, nudging Seimei suggestively.

Seimei scowled, before looking away with a light blush dusting his cheeks. "Nisei, you idiot."

Snape glared at Nisei. "You _both_ have detention!"

Seimei huffed as Nisei raised his hand in a forced high five. "Check it out! We have detention together!"

"Mr. Akame, you will serve detention with Professor Dumbledore." Snape growled. Nisei instantly paled.

"What!"

"Sit _down_ and quit disrupting my class before I make it ten detentions!"

Nisei grumbled as he made his way to his seat, Seimei shoving him out of the way as he seated himself next to Kio, Ritsuka giving him a sympathetic look. Poor Seimei was always suffering because of Nisei's "bright" ideas. And big mouth.

As Snape resumed the lesson, both Draco and Ritsuka noticed the "subtle" looks he would throw in Seimei's direction, Seimei glaring in return. Ritsuka snickered into his hand as Draco scowled.

While Snape had been yelling at Seimei and Nisei, Harry had noticed Yayoi staring at Kio with an infatuated expression. Following his gaze, Harry noticed Kio flirting shamelessly with Soubi, who seemed very annoyed. Glancing back at the Japanese teen, he noticed a depressed look on his face.

Yayoi and Harry were both startled to hear Ritsuka hiss loudly.

"What the hell does Kio think he's doing!" He growled out, pencil snapping in his grip.

Yayoi glumly shrugged his shoulders, turning his gaze back to his open textbook. "I wouldn't know…"

"That prick. What the hell is he playing at. Flirting in front of everyone with _my_ boyfriend!" Ritsuka snarled, stabbing holes in his book with his broken pencil.

"Er…maybe he's doing it to try to annoy Soubi?" Harry offered, trying to comfort the two upset teens.

"Well he's annoying the _wrong_ people!" Ritsuka bit out, teeth grinding harshly. Yayoi remained silent.

The three students watched curiously as Snape finished yelling at Nisei and Seimei and walked up behind Soubi and Kio and smacked them in the head with the textbook.

Ritsuka let out a dark chuckle. He felt better.

* * *

><p>"You are going to love the greenhouse, Ginny-Chan!" Yuiko gushed excitedly, pulling the red head down the empty hall excitedly.<p>

Ginny blushed as she stared at the back of her new friend's head, quickening her pace so she that she wasn't being dragged. Yuiko continued to blab on in excitement, describing the many beautiful plants.

"We have Orchids, Lilies, Roses, Lilacs, Daffodils, Violets, and even Cherry Blossoms! Those are my favorite, Yuiko loves Cherry Blossoms!" Yuiko enthused, flailing her free hand wildly.

"There are also many fruit trees too. Like Bananas, Apples, Oranges, Plums, and Lemons too! We even grow grapes, kiwis, mangos, pears, peaches, Guava and strawberries! Yuiko loves strawberries more than anything!"

"I love strawberries too. My Mum makes the _best_ strawberry jam." Ginny chimed in, nearly crashing into Yuiko's back.

Yuiko stood frozen in place before suddenly whirling around to face the red head. Her eyes seemed to sparkle as her face flushed in excitement. "My mom makes the best Strawberry Jam too!"

"I bet my mum would love to compare recipes with your mum." Ginny smiled. Yuiko's smile grew.

"So do I!" she exclaimed, once again dragging Ginny down the hall.

They continued on in a comfortable silence until reaching the greenhouse doors. Taking out a key, Yuiko unlocked the doors and pushed them opening, revealing a luscious green paradise.

Ginny stood in the doorway with a look of amazement on her face. Everywhere she looked, there were beautiful and colorful plants, some even hanging from the ceiling. Butterflies and Dragonflies danced through the air, while Bumblebees buzzed from one plant to the other.

"What do you think, Ginny-Chan?" Yuiko asked, never letting Ginny's hand go.

"I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Ginny answered, still in awe.

Yuiko felt happiness bubble inside of her as she lead Ginny deeper into the greenhouse.

* * *

><p>Seimei growled lowly as he entered the empty classroom, furious about having to serve detention on his lunch break. It wasn't even his fault! Stupid Nisei, always getting him into trouble.<p>

"Mr. Aoyagi, would you care to explain why you saw fit to be late to my class?" Snape asked in a silky voice.

Seimei glanced towards the dark haired teacher before slamming his book onto the desk, avoiding Snape's gaze. He didn't think it was worth his while to look at the man.

"I didn't plan on being late. Nisei shut my alarm off." he replied, gracefully falling into his seat.

"How unfortunate. Regardless, you were late to my class. You will wash the beakers, and arrange the supplies in alphabetical order. You have until the end of lunch to finish."

"That's bullshit!" Seimei snarled, standing. "There is no way I can possibly finish that before lunch ends!"

"Congratulations, Mr. Aoyagi. You have just earned yourself a week of detention for disrespecting a Professor."

"You are a _Sensei_."

"You will call me _Professor_." Snape snarled.

"We don't use the title "Professor" in Japan. We use _Sensei_, which is what I will call you." He sneered, refusing to back down.

"Regardless, you will call me Professor, unless you want three weeks detention."

Seimei glared pure hate towards the British Professor, wishing nothing but death for him. Looking away, he let out a defeated sigh. "Fine, _Professor_." he grumbled.

Snape smirked as he watches the younger male walk towards the table full of beakers, and begin his task of washing them.

The room was filled with silence as Seimei washed beaker after beaker, and only a few minutes had passed before he sensed Snape standing behind him. Stiffening, he glanced over his shoulder from the corner of his eye, and felt his heart stop as he noticed just how _close_ Snape was.

Forcing himself to ignore the man, Seimei continued his punishment, his heart pounding as he could literally feel Snape lean in towards him. A hot breathe ghosted over his neck and ear as Snape grasped his wrist, halting his movement.

"You missed a spot." Snape whispered, his chest pressed against Seimei's back.

The elder Aoyagi suddenly jerked away from the taller man, stumbling into a table. Clasping his hand over his ear, he glared at his teacher as a blush stained his cheeks.

"You are _sick_!" He snarled, grabbing his textbook before storming out of the room.

Snape raised an eyebrow as he watched the young man flee the room. "You just earned yourself another week of detention."

Smirking to himself, he dropped his voice to a whisper. "Which I will thoroughly enjoy."

* * *

><p>"Oh god, why me?" Nisei whimpered, standing in front of the closed door that led to Dumbledore's room. He felt as if he were being sentenced to death.<p>

He nearly screamed as the door suddenly flew open, Dumbledore towering over him. "Come in, dear boy!" he said, wrapping his arm around Nisei's shoulder and leading him into the room. Nisei nearly died on the spot.

"Ah…right. Thank you, Sensei." Nisei mumbled awkwardly, trying and failing to move from Dumbledore's grasp.

"Please sit here, young man." he gestured the young Akame to a seat, which he hesitantly took.

"Lemon Drop?" Dumbledore offered, shoving a tray of candy in the brunette's face.

"No thank you." Nisei declined stiffly, eyeing the elderly man.

"Now, what is this I hear about you being late for class and disrespecting a member of the faculty?" Albus questioned, peering over his half moon spectacles. Nisei inwardly groaned, turning to face the wall. He suddenly perked up as an idea popped into his head, and he turned back towards the tall Professor.

"I think the question should be, why was Snape-Sensei flirting shamelessly with my friend Seimei." He grinned, one arm draped over the back of his seat.

To cover his distress at hearing this, Dumbledore popped another lemon drop into his mouth. After all, Severus had never shown any interest in _him_ all these years.

"I'm sure you are exaggerating, dear boy."

Nisei cackled inwardly, leaning back in his seat as he gave Dumbledore an innocent look. "Oh, I think Snape was the one exaggerating. You could just _see _the want in his eyes every time he looked at Seimei. He wants Seimei's ass."

Dumbledore choked on his lemon drop. "There is no need for such language, Mr. Akame. I trust that Professor Snape isn't doing anything inappropriate. Now back to the reason you are here."

"Well, to be completely honest with you, I smashed our alarm clock because I wanted more sleep. So, naturally we were late to class. Snape-Sensei started to _harass _me, and let me tell you, he was quite rude! Very inappropriate for a teacher, mind you. And then he gave us detention! I don't see the fairness in any of it, since I'm the victim."

"Now, now. You can hardly blame Professor Snape for your selfishness in destroying your alarm clock. As for the rest, I've known Professor Snape for years, and am quite confident in his teaching ability."

Nisei feigned shock as he bolted up in his seat. "You are confident in his act of flirting with his students?" He asked, baffled. "Why, Dumbledore-Sensei! I am appalled!"

"I said no such thing, young man. Now, no more of this avoidance behavior. Now for your punishment, you must sort my robes by color. Both plain and patterned piles. And arrange them in the color spectrum."

Glancing over to the side of the room, Nisei did a double take as he saw the two giant piles of garishly colored robes. Whipping his head back towards Dumbledore, he let out a distressed cry.

"Are you kidding me!"

"Why would I be kidding?" Dumbledore asked, obviously confused.

"Those piles are hideously big! I can't finish all of this before my next class!"

"Well then, you will just have to come back tomorrow if you do not finish! Won't that be fun! My, aren't you glad you have detention with me instead of Professor Snape?"

"NO!"

* * *

><p><strong>Xana: *is rescued from Plot Bunnies* There you have it! Chapter 2! What did you all think?<strong>

**Muirgen: Please review and let us know. **

**Xana: Yeah, now I have to go and get all this Plot Bunny fur off of me. BLEGH!**

**Muirgen: Until next time readers! **

**~* Xana and Muirgen *~**


	4. Chapter 3

**Xana: Oh…my…Butterflies. It's been FOREVER since we last updated!**

**Muirgen: Personally, I blame the Plot Bunnies.**

**Plot Bunnies: *evil giggle***

**Xana: O…kay…*edges away from Plot Bunnies***

**Muirgen: I keep telling you we need to get them fixed so they quit breeding!**

**Xana: Well MY. BAD. I don't have enough money to just go and fix 5 billion Plot Bunnies! Do you know how hard it is to get that kind of cash? Not easy.**

**Muirgen: Okay, okay, calm down. Jeez.**

**Xana: Anyways, thanks to WizardsGirl, CrapXhead, and 777angeloflove for reviewing.**

**Muirgen: And to everyone that alerted/favorited this fic.**

**Xana: Yup! Also, we don't have a beta, so expect some mistakes. Now…disclaimer! **

**Plot Bunnies: They don't own anything but the plot. But **_**we**_** own **_**them**_**. MUAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA!**

**Muirgen: Maybe if we pack up and leave in the middle of the night, they won't know where we are.**

**Xana: Screw the night! WAAAAAAAAAHHH! *runs away screaming and flailing arms***

**Muirgen: ABANDONER!**

* * *

><p>"Hey, Soubi!" Kio cried out happily, catching his tall friend's attention. Turning to look back at his friend, Soubi raised a questioning eyebrow.<p>

"Yes, Kio?"

"Do you want to do something after classes end? Maybe get a bite to eat or maybe see a movie?" Kio suggested hopefully, leaning in towards his blonde friend. Raising his hand towards Kio's face, Soubi didn't miss the look of excitement flash through blue eyes behind wire framed glasses.

"Kio…" Soubi said softly, hand placed on his friend's cheek. Kio's breath caught as he swallowed.

"Yes…Soubi?"

Soubi suddenly shoved Kio away by his face, turning so his back faced him. "I'm taking Ritsuka out tonight. And stop trying to seduce me. I don't like you that way."

Kio's mouth dropped as he watched his friend walk away. "ASSHOLE!"

* * *

><p>"So Severus, what is this I hear about you flirting with a student in class?" Dumbledore questioned.<p>

"I have never flirted with a student _in _class." Severus replied smoothly

"I see, and _outside_ of class?" He asked looking over his half moon spectacles.

"He is of age, and he's an aid not a regular student."

"Am I not good enough for you Severus?" Said the older man with a heartbroken expression on his wizened face.

"Pardon? Besides, aren't you with that Hitomi girl?"

"Well, yes, but that's not the point, Severus. The point is, I have been in love with you longer than I have known Miss Hitomi."

"Apologies, Headmaster. But I do not feel that way about you. And no offence, but you are a bit too old for me."

Dumbledore stood up and hurriedly left the room, trying not to let Severus see the tears forming in his eyes.

* * *

><p>"Now class, please turn to page 257 in your textbooks, please." Hitomi said, smiling at her class from the front of the room.<p>

Turning to his new friend, Soubi placed his chin in his palm. "So, how are things with your friend?"

"What friend?" Draco asked bemused, mimicking Soubi's pose.

Smirking, Soubi nodded towards Harry and Ritsuka, who were bickering over sharing a textbook. "That friend."

"Oh…_that_ friend. Every time I go near him, he gets wide eyed and starts muttering about psycho blondes. I don't know if that's a good sign or a bad sign."

"Hmm, well…" Soubi began, rubbing his chin in thought, "That could really go two ways. He could be saying you're being psycho 'cause you're not coming on strong enough, or you're coming on _too _strong."

"But how do I know which it is!" Draco whined.

Shrugging, Soubi turned to his textbook. "That, my friend, is up to you to find out."

Draco sighed. "Man I wish I knew Leglimency."

Soubi gave him a strange look. "What is that?"

"Oh…uhm…it's…uh…a slang word for being able to read minds."

"Japanese and British slang words are very…very different." Soubi chuckled, turning the page of his book.

"You don't know the half of it." Draco muttered.

* * *

><p>Ritsuka glared heatedly over at the two conversing blondes, unhappy with how close they were to each other. Turning his glare downwards, he tried to control the jealous rage that made him want to rip that Malfoy kid's head off. Squeezing his eyes shut, he let out a slow breath of air and counted to ten.<p>

Harry turned to ask the youngest Aoyagi a question, and noticed how tense the young man was. "Is something wrong, Ritsuka?" The green eyed teen asked.

Pointing behind them, Ritsuka growled angrily. "See for yourself."

Turning around, Harry saw the two blondes looking very cozy. How dare _his_ psycho blonde get all familiar with another blonde. Who's taken! Harry wasn't entirely sure why, but all he wanted to do was shove the older blonde out of the way and take his place.

Harry wondered why he was feeling this way, he's Draco (former) Arch Nemesis Malfoy! He hadn't felt this way since that time he had a crush on Cho Chang. 'Oh god. . . Is that what this is?' he asked himself.

Harry banged his forehead on his desk. "I'm doomed. I'm so bloody doomed."

Ritsuka glanced down at him, still angry over seeing his boyfriend 'cheating'. "What the hell are you mumbling about?"

"I'm in love with Draco Malfoy, and I am doomed."

"Oh, you mean the man whore that's getting it good with my boyfriend?" Ritsuka hissed angrily, pinching the back of Harry's hand.

"Ow!" yelped Harry, pulling his hand away. "It's not like _I'm_ the one hitting on your boyfriend! And why do you think I'm doomed!"

Leaning back in his seat, Ritsuka folded his arms over his chest and glanced at the green eyed teen. "I know, but you're the closest living thing that I can take my anger out on."

"After class, you should just go punch him. You should have seen the time my friend Hermione did it. She called him a foul, evil, loathsome little cockroach."

Ritsuka tilted his head to the side. "You want me to call my boyfriend a cockroach?"

"No! I was talking about Draco, not Soubi!" Harry exclaimed.

"So you want me to call your 'boyfriend' a cockroach?" Ritsuka asked, looking baffled. "Just what kind of love are you in?"

Harry shrugged. "He's hitting on your boyfriend, I think you have the right. If I'm lucky it'll knock some sense into his thick skull. Not that he'd ever like me back anyway."

Ritsuka scoffed as he shook his head, standing as the bell for lunch rang. "You don't know that."

"He's hated me for five and a half years, and is only tolerating me now. Do you really think he could feel any differently?"

Grabbing his books, Ritsuka chuckled. "I disliked Soubi greatly when I first met him. I thought he was a liar, pedophile, and a pervert. But now look. Sad to say, I'm in love with the jerk."

Heading down the hallway together, Harry gave Ritsuka a startled look. "Pedophile?"

"Heh? Oh yeah, I was only 12 when I first met Soubi." Ritsuka replied, shrugging indifferently.

"Oooo…kay…Do you-"

Harry was interrupted by Draco coming up and putting a hand on his arm. "Hello Ha-"

"You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!" Ritsuka growled, punching Draco right in the face. Soubi raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend's violent antics. Harry was torn between surprise and amusement. As Draco laid on the hallway floor, he asked Ritsuka, "Are you related to Granger?"

"No!" Ritsuka barked, turning to glare at his blonde lover.

"Ritsuka, what the hell was that all about?" Soubi asked, looking down at the small teen.

"Oh, like you don't know!" Ritsuka proclaimed, jabbing Soubi in the chest with his finger. "Don't act all innocent!" Grabbing Harry's arm, Ritsuka stormed down the hall.

Blinking in confusion, Soubi called after his boyfriend. "Ritsuka, come back!"

Spinning around, Ritsuka snarled at the taller blonde. "Get bent, Soubi!" He then turned back around and dragged Harry away.

Draco groaned as he picked himself up off the floor. "Your boyfriend may be short, but he sure packs a punch. I hope Snape's allowed to use the good stuff because this is going to bruise."

Turning to him, Soubi gave Draco a questioning look. "What's the good stuff?"

"Oh…uhm…he, uh…well it's not exactly 'legal' in Britain."

Raising another eyebrow, Soubi slide his hands into his pockets. "Huh…okay." Looking at Draco's now swollen cheek, he couldn't help the small chuckle that slipped through his lips. "You should be happy."

"_Why _should I be _happy _that I was punched by your _boyfriend_?"

Grinning, Soubi began walking down the now empty hallway. "He's usually much more violent when I grab his ass in public. I usually end up with a busted lip or black eye."

"You two have a very…interesting relationship." Draco remarked, heading towards Snape's classroom.

"Yes…but I love him. But I love to piss him off even more. So it works out." Soubi replied happily.

"And I thought Harry and I had an antagonistic relationship." Draco commented, shaking his head.

Soubi laughed. "Hey, who said love was ever full of rainbows and kittens?"

"Rainbows and Kittens? Really?"

Sighing, Soubi ran a hand through his hair. "I've been hanging around Natsuo too much…and too long."

Reaching Snape's classroom, Draco pushed open the door only to see his godfather standing _very _closely behind Seimei and whispering in his ear. Soubi's eyebrows shot clear up to his hairline and Draco couldn't help the unbecoming expression of his mouth hanging open in shock.

"Damn it, Professor! Step back!" Seimei snarled, unsuccessfully trying to push Snape away.

"Oh, but you know that you like me standing back here." Snape purred huskily.

Seimei groaned in annoyance (and maybe in a little bit of arousal) as he hung his head in defeat. "I hate you, Sensei…"

"It's Professor…and no, you don't."

Soubi stood frozen in place, mind numb with shock. Draco, still with his mouth open, decided this was even worse than the idea of his parents having sex (personally, Draco thought his dad would even take his cane to bed with him).

Sighing, Seimei frowned down at the desk he was trapped against. "Move away…"

"And what will you give me if I do?" Snape drawled, leaning even closer to Seimei.

Suddenly turning, Seimei glared heatedly at the older man. "I won't punch your face in! Now stand aside so I can finish my detention!"

Snape chuckled darkly. "You think a punch in the face will scare me?" Snape was about to add something when he heard a high pitch squeak behind him. Turning with his cloak billowing dramatically, he paled to see his godson and that tall blonde kid standing in the doorway.

Peeking around Snape's body, Seimei stiffened as he caught sight of Soubi. Frowning in anger, the oldest Aoyagi pushed around Snape and stomped towards the door. Pausing in front of Soubi and Draco, Seimei glared over his shoulder at the Professor. "I'm leaving now, _Sensei_." Pushing Draco out of his way, he left the room in a huff, his cat tail bristling in anger.

"Mr. Malfoy and Mr. …blonde one, what can I do for you?"

Soubi seemed insulted by the blonde one dismissal. Draco, finally closing his mouth said. "Uh…I-I got punched. Uhm… I, uh…was wondering if, uh…if Dumbledore would allow you to give me the 'good stuff' for it."

"Certainly, Mr. Malfoy. May I inquire as to what you did to get punched and who did it? It wasn't Miss Granger again, was it?"

Soubi hesitantly raised his hand. "Oh no, it was my boyfriend." he replied, sounding suspiciously proud.

"I see…and what provoked your boyfriend to assault my godson?" At this, Soubi turned to look at Draco.

"Don't look at me! I have no idea." Draco whined.

"You _never_ know, Draco. I'll be back in a moment. You wouldn't believe how 'tight' security is around the 'good stuff'. It's even tighter than the security they had around the…uhm…that stone…from your first year." Snape remarked, before leaving the room.

Soubi cocked his head to the side. "What stone was he going on about?"

"Oh, it's just a rock Dumbledore was protecting from this one guy." Draco answered.

Staring at him with an eyebrow raised, Soubi thought over his words carefully. "Draco…no offense but…you guys aren't all drug dealers are you?"

"What? No! Why would you say that?"

"A _rock_ that Dumbledore had to _protect from this one guy_ with _tight security_? I'm sorry, my foreign friend, but that doesn't sound so good." Soubi replied.

"Oh, that. You've met Dumbledore, right? If this guy thought that his favorite robes were being threatened, he'd have some major security going on."

"Ah! That reminds me. What's with you guys and robes, anyways?" Soubi asked.

"It's just a British private school thing." Draco answered, as Snape re-entered the room.

"Here you are Mr. Malfoy. Apply this to the inflicted area two times a day, for the next three days. And don't let anyone else get their grubby hands on it. Now if you don't mind, I have work to do."

Soubi chuckled lowly. "Didn't your work just leave five minutes ago?"

Draco elbowed Soubi. "Shut up!" he hissed.

"Mr. Blonde One! Show some proper respect, or I will give you detention with Professor Dumbledore."

Soubi snorted, leaning against the doorframe. "He won't do to me, what you just did to Semei, will he?"

"Have you asked your friend, Mr. Akame, what happened in _his_ detention with Professor Dumbledore?"

"Well, I tried to, but he just threw a shoe at me and yelled, 'Never again!' So I didn't bother trying to ask again."

"Doesn't that tell you something, Mr. Blonde One?" Snape drawled, one eyebrow raised.

Soubi scratched his chin as he glanced up at the ceiling in thought. "I suppose so. By the way, my name is _**Soubi**_, not blonde one."

"Fine, Mr. Soubi. Are you ever going to leave my classroom?" Snape asked.

Soubi smiled as he glanced back at the dark haired teacher. "Maybe."

* * *

><p>"So good to see you again, Mr. Akame! Are you ready to begin your playtime disguised as detention?" Dumbledore beamed at him.<p>

Nisei gave a tired sigh, running his hand over his face. "Please don't phrase it that way. It sounds…wrong."

"Nonsense, dear boy! Lemon Drop?"

"No! No! I don't want a Lemon Drop!" Nisei screamed, collapsing on a pile of hideous neon robes.

"Well…no need to be so dramatic. It was only a suggestion. But if you don't want one, then I suggest you get to work! Hop, hop!"

Nisei gave him a baffled look. "You want me to hop now? My god, what kind of sick, twisted detention is this!"

"I'm sorry, I don't understand. It was just a suggestion, dear boy. Although if you would like to hop I shan't stop you."

Nisei could only stare at him, not really sure how to process this strange man's words. Sighing, he slowly picked himself up from the pile of scary clothing. "What do you want me to do today, Sensei…"

"Oh, just continue your tasks from last time. And are you sure you don't want a lemon drop?"

Nisei glared at him as he began to pick through the robes. "Yes, I'm 100% sure that I do _not _want a lemon drop."

Five Minutes later

As Nisei picked up a bright, neon green robe with neon pink and purple clownfish, Dumbledore rattled a small glass dish filled half full with yellow candies.

"Lemon Drop?"

"Arrggh! No! No thank you, _Sir_!" Nisei screamed, throwing the bright article of clothing onto the ground.

Seven Minutes later

Nisei was trying to figure out how to categorize a rainbow striped robe when he was nudged in the face with a glass bowl.

"Lemon Drop?" Dumbledore asked.

"For god's sake! NO!"

Four Minutes later

Nisei was trying to figure out exactly why there were round balls with wings on this neon purple robe and was wondering if he had gone crazy after seeing the wings flutter. He stiffened as he heard that strangely familiar rattling sound, accompanied with, "Lemon Drop?"

_**RIP**_

"GOD! NO! NO! I SAID NO!" Nisei screamed, shredding the neon purple robe before kicking the pile of neatly folded robes. " I TOLD YOU TIME AND TIME AGAIN! NO! I DON'T WANT A DAMN LEMON DROP!" He grabbed Dumbledore's favorite unicorn figurine and threw it at the closed window, causing the glass to shatter.

"WHAT IN THE FUCK IS A LEMON DROP ANYWAYS? GOD! I DON'T WANT ONE NOW!" He kicked another pile of robes. "I WON'T WANT ONE LATER!" He began to childishly jump on the pile of robes. "AND I WILL NEVER! EVER! WANT ONE!" he continued to scream, slamming his head repeatedly into the cushions of the couch. He gave one last scream before laying unmoving on the couch, body heaving with his heavy pants.

Standing behind his desk, Dumbledore remarked, bemusedly. "All you had to do was say no."

He was answered with a muffled scream.

* * *

><p>Nisei grumbled to himself about psychotic grandpa's with horrible fashion sense as he trudged down the hall. Looking for a diversion, he noticed that red head who lifted the punishment of being Kio's roommate.<p>

"Hey you! Whatever your name is." Nisei called out, gaining Ron's attention.

"My name's Ron! What do you want?" he replied curiously.

Nisei slowly grinned. "You destroy Kio's lollipop collection yet?"

"Why would I do that?" Ron exclaimed, a look of horror on his face.

Nisei face palmed. "Don't tell me you actually _like_ that thing?" he said, leaning casually against the wall, eyes still on the red head.

"Are you mad? Of course I do! Although, really, would it kill him to allow a person to eat _one_ of his duplicates?" Ron asked, pouting.

Nisei could only stare at his (adorably) pouting lips, suddenly wondering if they would _taste_ like a lollipop. Startled by his sudden train of thought, he quickly shook his head, hoping to rid himself of such thoughts.

"Uh…yeah…right. So anyways, why aren't you in class?" Nisei questioned.

"Uhm…you see…Snape told me to get out, because I am an incompetent dunderhead."

Nisei snickered behind his hand. "Heh…dunderhead."

"Yeah, he seems to like that word. Hey, by the way. Why aren't you in class?" Ron asked.

The tall brunette shuddered as he received flashbacks. "I had detention with Dumbledore-Sensei….don't ask. Just know, that it was horrible."

"I always said that Dumbledore was mental." Ron commented, nodding to himself.

Nisei smirked, suddenly liking this kid _a lot_. "Well, you're right about that."

* * *

><p>"Yooouujjiiii! I'm huuuuuuuungrrryyyy!" Natuso whined loudly, tugging on his older boyfriend's sleeve.<p>

Youji sighed as he pulled his arm away from the whining teen. "I know Natsuo. I just have to drop off my essay to Nagisa-Sensei and then we can have lunch."

Pouting, the green eyed teen huffed. "Fine. But you have to buy me a cupcake!"

Smiling, Youji nodded in agreement. "Sure thing, Natsuo." Making his way through the deserted halls, Youji located Nagisa's classroom. Stopping in front of the door, Youji grabbed his messenger bag and rifled through the pockets, looking for the folder with his essay.

Natsuo tapped his foot impatiently as he watched the teal haired teen. "Youji hurry up! My stomach is growling!" he whined. Youji glanced up at him. "Really? I don't hear it."

Natsuo opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off when they both heard a loud moan. Youji stared at Natsuo before looking down at the red head's stomach in bewilderment. "Holy shit, your stomach just moaned! You must be seriously hungry!"

Natsuo frowned as he smacked the taller teen in the head. "That wasn't my stomach!" he hissed. "That came from inside Nagisa-Sensei's classroom!" He said, jerking his thumb towards the door.

Youji turned to stare at the door. They stood in silence before jumping as another louder moan came from behind the door. "Oh Kami! Nagisa-Sensei's classroom is haunted!" Natsuo squealed, about ready to run down the hallway screaming.

Sensing his boyfriend's thought process, Youji grabbed the back of Natsuo's shirt and held him in place. "Shush!" he whispered, before creeping up to the door and peeking through the crack in the door. Natsuo tip toed behind him to peek through the crack also. Both pairs of eyes widened.

Standing in front of the teacher's desk was Ritsu, trapping Nagisa on the desk. With his body. And his shirt open. Natsuo felt his breakfast come back up his throat as he noticed Ritsu shoving his tongue down Nagisa's throat. Pulling himself away from the door, Natsuo threw his hands in the air while his mouth opened in a silent scream and ran down the hallway, not caring what would happen to Youji.

Making it outside the building, he finally let the blood curdling scream out, and threw himself on the ground, face first. Ten seconds later, Youji came out screaming about the two teachers 'getting it on'.

* * *

><p>"Neville! Hurry up, I'm hungry and I don't want to be late for dinner!" Ron whined.<p>

"We're ten minutes early, Ron! Besides, Professor Snape ordered (it was horrible) that I run by Dumbledore's office to check on him."

"But I'm hungry!" Ron pouted.

"It won't even take five minutes, Ron. And we'll still be early!"

"Fine! But if I don't get first picking at all my favorites, you'll be my slave for a week!"

"And the first time you order me to do something Hermione will kill you. So stop your whining. Anyways, we're here."

Neville could only open the door a crack, before they heard a manly giggle and a woman's moan.

"Wow, Dumbledore must have a really good new candy!" Ron exclaimed. "Let's go get some!"

Neville placed a restraining hand on Ron's shoulder. "I…don't think that's what's going on, Ron.

Another moan was heard this one obviously coming from a man. Ron gave Neville a look that said 'See I told you.' Neville rolled his eyes and crept forward to look through the door crack. He _was _a Gryffindor after all. His eyes widened at the scene before him.

Hitomi pressed Albus against his desk, one hand buried in his hair, the other in his beard. Albus was trying to divest Hitomi of her top.

Neville backed away, mute horror written on his face. "W-w-we better g-go Ron!" He then turned and ran, not bothering to see if Ron followed.

"Weirdo." Ron muttered. He approached the door, hoping Dumbledore would give him some of his candy. He was greeted, however, by a scene that would traumatize him for the rest of his life.

Hitomi still had Albus pressed against his desk and he had succeeded in removing her top. She also had his robes half off pooling around his waist.

Ron booked it.

Everyone was sitting down to dinner, chatting happily about various things. At one table, Osamu was trying to discover what was wrong with Neville while comfortingly rubbing his back.

At another, Ritsuka and Harry were pointedly ignoring their blondes, while the blondes were trying to get their attention. Two tables down, Yuiko was offering Ginny a strawberry while Luna and Hermione discussed the existence of the Crumpled-Horned Snorkak.

Sitting at a table to the far right, Nisei and Kio fought over what dessert was best, while Seimei tried his best to block out their argument. Snape sat with Nagisa and Ritsu at a table behind the three, watching in amusement as the two friends fought.

Everything was normal and calm until they heard a loud shriek, followed by the doors slamming open, to reveal a bright red red head, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"DUMBLEDORE AND HITOMI! DUMBLEDORE AND HITOMI!" he screamed girlishly, running further into the room before collapsing on Nisei's feet.

Looking down at him startled, Nisei nudged him off his foot. "Dumbledore and Hitomi? What about them?"

Rolling his head upwards, with an agonized expression said, "They-They were…_doing_ it."

"You mean…_it_ it?" Nisei asked.

Ron nodded and replied, "There was robe removal."

Kio watched as a horrified expression washed over Nisei's face. "Not….Not the _robes_!"

"I'm afraid so. It was horrible. You can't imagine!" Ron said, suddenly clinging to Nisei's leg.

Nisei, despite the current situation, couldn't help the pleasant tingling sensation in said leg.

* * *

><p><strong>Xana: *is hiding under someone's bed. In Mexico.* Shhhh…the Plot Bunnies are looking for me…<strong>

**Muirgen: Well then maybe you shouldn't have said what country you are in.**

**Xana: Hey, hey, hey! Hey…I said **_**somewhere **_**in Mexico. I didn't say what part!**

**Muirgen: You do realize that they're going to search the entire country for you now, right?**

**Xana: PFFT. Let them! They will never find me! MUAHAHAHAHHA!**

**Muirgen: You just keep telling yourself that, dear.**

**Xana: Yah, Yah, whatev-WAH! *is attacked by Plot ****Bunny***** HELP MEEEEEE!**

**Muirgen: *eye roll* I told you so. Please Read and Review. **

**Xana: AGH! GOD MY EYE!**

**~* Xana and Muirgen *~**


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